dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
