K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
