So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
