he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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