If i come over, it means nothing
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
