I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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