can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
