I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
