I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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