Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
