he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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