and you said cock pushups were impossible
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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