just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
