I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
