The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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