We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
