so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
