This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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