I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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