Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
