Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish you could order shots online.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
