Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
