Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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