Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
