Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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