Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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