I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
