Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
