I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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