im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We left the knife in your bed.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
