I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
