Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
