I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
