Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
