I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
