i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it was like having sex with a tree stump
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
