my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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