That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
