just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
