True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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