I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
