Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
