elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
how drunk are you?
Several
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
