it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
