That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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