i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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