I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
