My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
