I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
