I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
