Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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