he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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