I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
