just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
