we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
