i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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