He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
