Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
