Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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