It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
