why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
