ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
