The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize